The coaching relationship

The idea for this post came recently from the fact that one of my coaches became so frusterated that they wanted to quit.  Part of the reason was because a couple of their athletes dropped out of their program because the program wasn't meeting their expectations.  They said they didn't want the coach to take it personally, but they did make their negative feedback personal.  And of course the coach did take it personally.  It is interesting for me to view the situation from another perspective, me also being one of his athletes, as well as a coach and masters racer.  I think it is too bad that those people dropped out and put the fault on the program for not meeting their needs.  First of all, dropping out is pointless.  Why did they join the program in the first place?  If it was to learn something about racing or to improve their skills, then dropping out gets them further from their goals, not closer to them.  Besides, the way the learning-teaching process works, you can't expect real learning to occur after only two classes.  You have to have a relationship with your coach before authentic learning can occur.  And developing a relationship with your coach takes time.  Why is it necessary to have a relationship with your coach first?  There are many reasons.  One main reason is because the learning-teaching process is dynamic.  In other words it goes both ways.  In order for you to understand how to improve your own skills, you have to understand how your coach has improved theirs.  How do you do that?  Through mutual feedback.  As a coach sometimes it is very difficult to explain to your athlete what you are thinking.  It is also difficult for the coach to understand something from the athlete's perspective.  It is also difficult for an athlete to understand what their coach is thinking and to see things from their coaches perspective as well.  These type of exchanges take a lot of energy, time and patience.  This process can only be facilitated if you have a positive relationship with your coach.   When developing a relationship with your coach, it is important to understand that your coach has needs too.  It is unfortunate that these athletes put the responsibility of learning entirely on the coach and the program after only two sessions.  They did not have the chance of finding out that in order to learn you have to have a relationship with your coach and be an "active" participant in the learning process. Sadly these people didn't invest anything and therefore they didn't get anything out of it.