Sunday, February 20, 2011
Having a really bad day.
Well today was a really bad day. I actually even considered giving up the sport entirely. Today what I love about the sport, I felt was gone. I don't know if anyone else has ever gotten to the point where they felt this way. But it is really difficult, in my mind I kept trying to go over how it all went wrong. Part of it was seeing myself on video, and not really having a positive experience with that. Another part was that someone I respect told me I should get new skis, even though I just bought them and I love skiing on them. Part of it was that it was so busy today I had trouble skiing because I ski really fast and it makes me nervous when there are so many people on the hill. And another part was that I just don't seem to explain myself properly to other people, and I was in a couple of situations where I had to try and just couldn't. I know part of it is self-esteem based, it takes so little for something to knock down my confidence. Right now I am feeling that there is no point in me participating in certain aspects of the sport to the extent that I am right now. Things that contribute to lowering my self-esteem as an athlete should probably be removed from my repertoire, and things that build my self-esteem should be added or maintained. Maybe I need to look at a different strategy and look at what is working and what isn't. Maybe I have outgrown my current strategies for participating in this sport. That is possible. I know I love running gates, that could be something I could continue to do. I love coaching myself. That seems to be working. I also like my fellow master's racers, and I enjoy spending time with them in the winter. Maybe there is hope. Maybe when you have a really bad day, all you need to do is look at your current goals, and strategies for meeting those goals, and recognize that all it might take is a change. It is possible that it is time for that, and this really bad day was just a cue for change.
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When I read originally wrote this post it was right after a day of complete frustration. Writing the post at the time, made me feel a bit better. After reflecting on this post a week later I realize that it is important for people to react to good or valuable feedback, and ignore bad or feedback that is not valuable. It is also important to realize that not all feedback is created equal. Some feedback is neither helpful or correct, for the situation. Especially the feedback you get from other people, feedback can be based on someone's opinion or experience which can be very different from yours. Sometimes feedback from other people is emotionally-based on not intellectually based, and therefore it needs to be evaluated very carefully, especially if it is negative. When you get this type of feedback from your environment, you have to step back and weigh its value before you react to it. If it is of limited value it is best to ignore it. That is probably true of both positive and negative feedback, although if you react to negative feedback that is of limited value, then their can be negative consequences. That is what went wrong on this day. The best example to highlight this in this post is the comment someone made to me about getting new skiis. This feedback is not valuable. First ski technique has nothing to do with what skiis you are skiing on, and second my skiis work well on other days, so I am not sure what the point of training on another pair of skiis would be. It would be like practicing your basketball skills with a volleyball. What would be the point?
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